Break from the scandals with a bargain basement deal, a ladies' night, and a VIP guest
Hey, Partiers. It’s been sort of a tough week in the nation’s capital, what with the scandal at the Internal Revenue Service, the outrage at the Justice Department and the drumbeat of GOP criticism over Benghazi. I could go on for pages about how bad it’s been for the White House -- but others have beaten me to it. Besides, things must not be as bad as they look -- President Obama still managed to squeeze in three fundraisers on Monday, after some of these problems surfaced.
And in the Party arena, we had our our own controversy to deal with: Rep. Ed Markey, D-Mass., who’s running to take over the Senate seat that opened when John Kerry was appointed secretary of state, disinvited former Congressman Ben Jones -- known for playing "Cooter" on "Dukes of Hazzard" -- from a fundraising event over Jones' support of the Confederate flag. Apparently, Jones is not pleased. Markey is no stranger to controversial guests, having appeared earlier this year with disgraced former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer -- a.k.a. Client 9 -- so maybe this time he thought he could avoid some flack in advance. I guess not.
If only there were some way to fix all of this...
But, to borrow a sentiment often expressed by our nation’s politicians, let’s not look to the past, but to the future...to next week’s parties!
Monday is busy for Sen Kelly Ayotte, R-N.H., who is hosting two funders in one day! (Luckily, she scheduled them for different times so she doesn't have to face the classic sitcom conundrum of juggling two dates at once).
First, Ayotte has a Health Care Lunch at Art & Soul, where guests can munch on smoked pork ribs and, if they chose, snicker at how disastrous the Affordable Care Act is. (The meal's $500+ tag may or may not be served with a sphygmomanometer). Then at 6 p.m., it’s time to hit the town for Ladies’ Night! Six seems a little early for such an event, but it is on a Monday, after all. Drinks with the girls will set you back $500, or $1,000 if you want to co-host.
But if you can’t do Monday, fear not. The former New Hampshire attorney general likes to get her schmoozing done with before Hump Day -- she's got another event Tuesday.
We all scream for …
Illinois Democratic Rep. Mike Quigley will host his “Summer is Near” Ice Cream Social Tuesday at 5:30 p.m. You might think that $1,000 is a bit too much for ice cream, but just look at that flyer. It has cows. And puns. You can’t put a price tag on that stuff, especially when you compare it to some of the other exciting invitations Party Time is blessed with.
Sen. John Barrasso, R-Wy., will be collecting funds Tuesday evening at Charlie Palmer Steak House, along with a secret "VIP guest." I couldn’t find out who the guest is, but I have a hunch, or at least a strong preference. Clint Eastwood, anybody?
UPDATE 5/20/2013: It turns out I don't have ESP, as Sens. Rob Portman, R-Ohio, and Pat Toomey, R-Pa., will be the guests of honor.
Do I look like I need to diet?
Freshman New York Democratic Rep. Sean Patrick Maloney is behind the district’s bargain fundraiser for the week! You can get in Wednesday at Cava Mezze for just $200! But this is Washington after all, so there has to be a catch in the fine print. Yes, you are stuck with a "small dinner." It’s okay though, fearless lobbyists and PAC managers, because there are plenty of other fundraisers going on that night -- just check the calendar. Or, if you're the kind of weary lobbyist that is simply sick and tired of being treated by politicians like an ATM machine -- you don't have to tell me, brother! -- just have a "me" night up the street at DC-3, where you'll find comfort in this ridiculous bacon-wrapped hot dog. But first -- stick those unwanted invites right here.
Two Govs, One County
Speaking of bargains, everything’s cheaper in the Midwest. If you find yourself in Des Moines, Iowa this Thursday you can see two governors in one night! Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker will travel to Iowa to appear at the Polk County GOP’s Annual Spring Dinner Thursday evening, along with Iowa Gov. Terry Branstad. (Walker is no stranger to out-of-state fundraising, and he has at least a couple more events outside the Badger State coming up.)
You can go stag to the event for just $75. But for $1,000, you get a photo op with Walker, a table for 10, tickets to a "host" reception and of course the biggest prize of all: The ever-so-prestigious ‘Host’ label itself. What a steal!
Well, that about does it. Don’t forget to send any invitations you may have our way, and, as always, check a mirror before you pose for any pictures with your favorite candidate. It’d be a shame to pay all that money just to have broccoli in your teeth. Until next time, partiers!
(Photo credit: CJ Sorg via Flickr.com)